Webster's Dictionary describes SHAME as:
1.) a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety 2.) the susceptibility to such emotion
3.) a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute
4.) something that brings censure or reproach; something to be regretted
Wow. Heady stuff, that Shame, huh? What are YOU ashamed of? Me, I was ashamed of my body when I was fat. Not everyone is at my former size, but I was-in spades!
It limited my life so magnificently. It was large, obvious shame and small, unconcious shame that did me in. I felt so disconnected to my physical body. How sad. What a waste of decent human being.
Today, I realized some folks would abhore being my current weight. They would be suicidal at the mere thought of it. "A size 12? Dear God, I would be enormous!" they might muse. Me? I am enjoying the ride. I have perspective that those folks do not. There is a big gap between size 26 and my current size 12/14. IT'S WORLDS DIFFERENT!
So, as some sit back tonight and cry over their size 12 jeans, I celebrate mine. It does not lessen their validity or pain. I know that pain well. I lived in that SHAME WORLD for years. I hope to never go back to it.
The Current and Sassy Me
My Story
November 22, 2005, I had a gastric bypass surgery called the Mini Gastric Bypass. I weighed 292 pounds. (My highest weight was 311 pounds.) I had struggled with the idea of surgery until I read the facts: that the percentage of people who had over 100 pounds to lose that lost it, and kept it off was nil. I was slowly dying.
I lost 147 pounds and my life has changed in so many ways. I am the person I was meant to be. Recently, I started to forget where I came from and lost track and gained some weight back. But like the Phoenix, I rise from the ashes and renew myself. The Warrior returns. Join me as I battle this war, and win.
If I can do this, so can you!
1 comments:
CONGRATULATIONS! you continue to be an inspiration :)
I am all smiles knowing that you must be feeling just as elated as I did when I put mine on (which was only 2 weeks ago).
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