Why have I walked away from this blog? I loved it. I really did. But as the years when on post op, and the new me settled in, I did what so many have done.. I forgot and I got scared to come back and let everyone know that I slipped up.
Sad, really. Isn't this the whole reason for sharing my journey? Hell, Oprah lost track too! But it is a downfall of mine, I strive to be the "A" student-- the good girl. And when I lost my way, and started gaining weight, I couldn't face it.
But the good news is, I am back. I want to discuss what has happened to me in the last year, so that post op patients really KNOW what its like LONG TERM.
So to get it out of the way... How much have I gained back? About twenty two pounds. Shit! That freaked me out just writing it.
How could I have gained that back? By not eating well and not exercising. By not doing what I know to be right. By going through some hard things in my life, and letting food be comforting again.
Do I look fat? Compared to my over 300 pound self, no. But compared to my lowest weight? I am feeling pretty chubby. It makes me want to scream.
The "warrior" in me says: "'Fess up, come clean and move on!", so that is what I am going to do here. I hope that new people reading this post will take the time to read my earlier posts--pre-surgery, post surgery, etc. I still feel like those emotions are valid and true and I would not go back for a second!
I still have alot to say about Gastric Bypass, WLS, weight loss in general, among other topics. I certainly needed something like this when I was began my WLS research.
I resolve to put ME back on my own list again. As I walk the Warrior's Path, who knows what battles may ensue? All I know now is: this warrior is trained, and understands the enemy like never before.