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I am such a work in progress!

Sigh, I made it through my Day One of the FIVE DAY POUCH TEST plan. All liquids, protein shakes and such. It was hard but I did it. I stood on the scale figuring I would see a one pound loss. Nope. half a pound. So why am I so pissy about it? Lord, I need a smack. I am actually disappointed in the 1/2 pound loss. Hello? Earth to Barbara!

See, my problem with this weight regain is that I stopped stepping on the scale. Some folks have the opposite problem they step on it too often. I just stopped looking. So today I stepped on it one day later. Kind of a big deal for me. I have to face facts.

I think I am in mourning. Does that make sense? I think I am mourning the fact that I was a regular thin person. I am not. I never will be. Get over, woman! I am a weight loss surgery patient and I always will be. I cannot lose sight of that again.

Okay, I will post my goal weight. My original goal pre-surgery was 145 pounds. I then said I wanted to be 142 about half way through. Dumb, really. I wanted the number to be an even 150 pounds lost. Well, guess what happened? I didnt get to 145 OR 142. SIGH. I got to 146. Close!
Today I am 159.3. 14.3 pounds to go.

I will work out today. I am vowing that. Even for a half a hour. That will help. Just blahblahblahing today. Need to get this out of my head and onto the screen.

Update later.